WEBVTT 00:00:00.934 --> 00:00:04.037 Now, it's my deep privilege 00:00:04.804 --> 00:00:07.807 to introduce Apryl Chauhan 00:00:08.008 --> 00:00:10.043 as our keynote speaker, she will be. 00:00:10.043 --> 00:00:12.212 The title of her presentation is today, 00:00:12.212 --> 00:00:15.215 today is These Roots Run Deep. 00:00:15.849 --> 00:00:19.152 Apryl is a dedicated American Sign Language interpreter, 00:00:19.819 --> 00:00:23.056 parent advocate for deaf children, and an outspoken 00:00:23.056 --> 00:00:26.059 supporter of LGBTQ children 00:00:26.159 --> 00:00:28.661 with a passion for advocacy 00:00:28.661 --> 00:00:31.865 and a dynamic career that spans various domains. 00:00:32.399 --> 00:00:36.269 She has spent the past 20 years deeply embedded in the deaf community, 00:00:36.569 --> 00:00:39.873 family support, and community activism. 00:00:40.540 --> 00:00:43.977 In addition to serving two terms as president of California's 00:00:43.977 --> 00:00:47.080 Hands and Voices, she and her family were featured in 00:00:47.080 --> 00:00:50.550 Andrew Solomon's best selling novel, Far from the tree. 00:00:51.151 --> 00:00:54.454 The California Department of Education, Through Your Child's Eyes, 00:00:54.721 --> 00:00:59.125 and if you are watching carefully, Disney World's national commercial, 00:00:59.359 --> 00:01:03.096 There's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow. Apryl continues 00:01:03.096 --> 00:01:06.800 to set an example of how a multicultural family 00:01:07.100 --> 00:01:12.138 navigates deafness, gender identity, race and culture in our current times. 00:01:12.439 --> 00:01:16.342 And I was looking over the chapter last night, in Far from the tree 00:01:16.342 --> 00:01:19.512 where, April and her family is, 00:01:20.647 --> 00:01:21.314 is talked 00:01:21.314 --> 00:01:26.152 about in the chapter on deafness, and the author said, every deaf person 00:01:26.152 --> 00:01:31.591 I met in California seemed to have been to parties and Apryl and Raj's house. 00:01:32.292 --> 00:01:34.294 So, while I don't think she can fit 00:01:34.294 --> 00:01:36.463 all of us here and her livingroom tonight, 00:01:36.463 --> 00:01:39.499 this morning, what a great opportunity for us 00:01:39.766 --> 00:01:42.702 to be a part of the experience and Apryl's life. 00:01:42.702 --> 00:01:44.604 Why don't you help me 00:01:44.604 --> 00:01:47.607 welcome to Apryl to the stage. 00:01:58.118 --> 00:01:58.685 Hello. 00:01:58.685 --> 00:01:59.586 [...] 00:01:59.586 --> 00:02:01.688 Thank you. Good morning. Good morning. 00:02:01.688 --> 00:02:04.691 Hello. Oh. 00:02:06.626 --> 00:02:08.294 I want to recognize in 00:02:08.294 --> 00:02:11.297 this moment, it’s very special. 00:02:11.564 --> 00:02:15.935 I am a hearing mom. 00:02:17.570 --> 00:02:19.939 And this plenary is just 00:02:19.939 --> 00:02:23.443 and the plenary speaker. Tomorrow 00:02:23.576 --> 00:02:25.945 the closing presenter is going to be 00:02:25.945 --> 00:02:28.414 Paul Ogden. 00:02:28.414 --> 00:02:31.417 Oh, my goodness. 00:02:32.785 --> 00:02:34.754 He's a leader in deaf education, 00:02:34.754 --> 00:02:37.457 he has been such an influence for my family. 00:02:40.860 --> 00:02:43.863 I feel so very honored to be here. 00:02:45.665 --> 00:02:48.668 Thank you. 00:02:49.802 --> 00:02:52.772 I will be presenting today in spoken English. 00:02:53.873 --> 00:02:57.010 The reason being this story is very personal. 00:02:57.477 --> 00:03:00.480 It's very emotional. 00:03:01.347 --> 00:03:04.517 And so please, please enjoy this presentation. 00:03:05.118 --> 00:03:08.121 Thank you so much for having me here. 00:03:14.494 --> 00:03:15.361 I'm sure 00:03:15.361 --> 00:03:18.464 when you saw my name on the internet, 00:03:18.464 --> 00:03:21.467 you're probably wondering who in the world is this? 00:03:22.302 --> 00:03:25.104 I don't have any fancy credentials. 00:03:25.104 --> 00:03:27.707 I don't work in the medical field. 00:03:27.707 --> 00:03:31.110 I know nothing about audiology 00:03:31.110 --> 00:03:34.113 beyond the banana. 00:03:34.747 --> 00:03:35.882 I'm not a reseracher so 00:03:35.882 --> 00:03:38.751 don't quote me on anything. 00:03:38.751 --> 00:03:41.754 I am a parent. 00:03:50.396 --> 00:03:52.832 This is us. 00:03:52.832 --> 00:03:56.936 I have been coming to this conference for 16 years. 00:03:57.270 --> 00:03:59.872 Just as a parent. 00:03:59.872 --> 00:04:03.343 This conference has made a huge impact on my life. 00:04:03.977 --> 00:04:07.113 And I really want to acknowledge the other parents 00:04:07.113 --> 00:04:11.551 who traveled from all over the country for one reason. 00:04:12.185 --> 00:04:13.853 Their children. 00:04:13.853 --> 00:04:16.356 So how many parents do we have in the audience today? 00:04:16.356 --> 00:04:16.923 Can you guys raise your hand? 00:04:18.157 --> 00:04:21.160 Let's give a round of applause. 00:04:26.132 --> 00:04:26.532 Over the 00:04:26.532 --> 00:04:30.370 years at this conference, I have had those Oprah like 00:04:30.770 --> 00:04:35.074 ah ha moments. Moments of inspiration and celebration. 00:04:35.708 --> 00:04:38.711 I've also had moments of self-reflection, 00:04:39.178 --> 00:04:41.614 and honestly, I've had many tears 00:04:41.614 --> 00:04:45.018 filled moments at this conference. Why? 00:04:45.518 --> 00:04:48.888 Because this all boils down to my being. 00:04:51.691 --> 00:04:54.794 I think that all of us here today 00:04:56.029 --> 00:04:59.065 recognize that conferences like 00:04:59.065 --> 00:05:02.835 this can be a wonderful resource for families, for all of us. 00:05:02.869 --> 00:05:06.005 In fact, we get together to share ideas. 00:05:06.272 --> 00:05:07.307 We share resources. 00:05:07.307 --> 00:05:10.910 We have these cool brainstorming moments in the lobby. 00:05:12.178 --> 00:05:16.115 But often times when I attended this conference, there was something missing 00:05:17.250 --> 00:05:19.686 and that was a reflection of my family 00:05:19.686 --> 00:05:22.689 and more importantly, of my child. 00:05:23.389 --> 00:05:25.591 Because after the conference, 00:05:25.591 --> 00:05:29.062 when I would get back on the airplane, heading back to California, 00:05:30.063 --> 00:05:34.000 it was just me, my husband and our family, 00:05:34.467 --> 00:05:37.637 and I had to figure this whole thing out on my own. 00:05:42.141 --> 00:05:45.144 This is us. 00:05:45.411 --> 00:05:47.246 A typical family 00:05:47.246 --> 00:05:50.049 and the other reason why I'm here today. 00:05:50.049 --> 00:05:53.152 For families like mine and like my son, 00:05:53.786 --> 00:05:57.023 we are a family that's certainly benefited from everything that we learned 00:05:57.056 --> 00:06:01.294 from language, communication, technology, education and culture. 00:06:02.829 --> 00:06:06.099 These were great, wonderful resources. 00:06:06.699 --> 00:06:11.704 But I'm a black woman, born in Los Angeles, married to an Indian man 00:06:11.704 --> 00:06:14.707 who was born in London and raised in Georgia. 00:06:16.442 --> 00:06:18.644 And together we are raising 00:06:18.644 --> 00:06:21.781 three beautiful multicultural children. 00:06:22.882 --> 00:06:25.885 But we're still the family that's sitting in your office. 00:06:26.352 --> 00:06:30.056 We're still the family that is in your classroom 00:06:30.757 --> 00:06:33.760 and attending your events. 00:06:33.926 --> 00:06:39.198 And we are a family of so much more than just those parents of that deaf child. 00:06:40.733 --> 00:06:41.768 I believe that the 00:06:41.768 --> 00:06:45.505 definition provided by the National Center on Parent, Family 00:06:45.505 --> 00:06:49.542 and Community Engagement best describes family culture. 00:06:50.643 --> 00:06:53.646 It is a complex 00:06:53.980 --> 00:06:55.848 system that is influenced 00:06:55.848 --> 00:06:58.851 by many factors like tradition, 00:07:00.052 --> 00:07:02.755 country of origin, geographic 00:07:02.755 --> 00:07:05.758 regions, ethnic identities, 00:07:05.792 --> 00:07:09.796 cultural groups, community, sexual orientation, 00:07:10.263 --> 00:07:14.567 gender identity, education, personal choices, 00:07:14.767 --> 00:07:17.770 and [...] language. 00:07:21.307 --> 00:07:24.844 This is just a taste of my family. 00:07:28.781 --> 00:07:30.316 Even if you notice 00:07:30.316 --> 00:07:33.319 my husband's bobble as being an East Indian 00:07:34.053 --> 00:07:37.056 with Hindu and Muslim culture combined, 00:07:37.156 --> 00:07:40.259 that in of itself is very deep. 00:07:41.761 --> 00:07:45.598 But again, we are a typical American family, 00:07:46.265 --> 00:07:49.502 and in 2024, we can no longer take 00:07:49.502 --> 00:07:52.472 a passive approach to family culture. 00:07:52.738 --> 00:07:55.741 The world around us is changing and evolving. 00:07:55.975 --> 00:07:59.312 Gen Z is the most racially 00:07:59.312 --> 00:08:02.582 and ethnically diverse generation in the U.S. 00:08:02.582 --> 00:08:03.216 history. 00:08:07.987 --> 00:08:10.423 They also have access 00:08:10.423 --> 00:08:15.962 to information and resources about culture, race, language, community, 00:08:15.962 --> 00:08:18.965 and traditions of the world in a way that, no other 00:08:19.031 --> 00:08:21.901 generation before has had. 00:08:21.901 --> 00:08:24.237 As professionals and parents, 00:08:24.237 --> 00:08:27.240 we've arrived at this moment 00:08:27.273 --> 00:08:30.476 when we have to be culturally relevant. 00:08:32.178 --> 00:08:34.680 I'll let you in on a little secret. 00:08:34.680 --> 00:08:37.650 The families that you work with, 00:08:37.750 --> 00:08:40.453 they have the tools. 00:08:40.453 --> 00:08:45.157 They have the tools to support the success of their child. 00:08:46.259 --> 00:08:51.230 I believe that the reason why my deaf son is so live out loud, 00:08:51.430 --> 00:08:57.069 vibrant, out there doing his thing is because of the resources 00:08:57.069 --> 00:09:01.507 that I learned at conferences like this, my connections to professionals, 00:09:02.508 --> 00:09:05.411 my connections to the deaf community, 00:09:05.411 --> 00:09:10.683 but also because of our family's deep connections to our roots. 00:09:11.918 --> 00:09:12.418 So this 00:09:12.418 --> 00:09:15.888 morning, I'm just going to share with you my personal story, 00:09:16.455 --> 00:09:19.559 and I hope that it will plant a seed in your mind 00:09:19.992 --> 00:09:24.564 so that you'll start incorporating your own story into your work, 00:09:25.398 --> 00:09:28.401 as well as the family's story. 00:09:33.706 --> 00:09:36.142 First, I want to let you know that 00:09:36.142 --> 00:09:40.179 I did ask Zee for permission to share this photos and his stories. 00:09:40.713 --> 00:09:44.450 He's an adult now, which means that his story 00:09:44.450 --> 00:09:47.453 is no longer just mine to tell. 00:09:48.621 --> 00:09:51.424 Zee was born in Los Angeles at a private hospital 00:09:51.424 --> 00:09:54.460 that did not have the newborn hearing screening. 00:09:55.261 --> 00:09:58.698 He was not identified as deaf until the age of two. 00:10:00.333 --> 00:10:02.034 My response? 00:10:02.034 --> 00:10:03.402 I need to learn. 00:10:03.402 --> 00:10:04.470 I need to study. 00:10:04.470 --> 00:10:06.872 I need to obtain as much information as possible. 00:10:08.608 --> 00:10:10.409 My husband's response. 00:10:10.409 --> 00:10:12.044 I need to work harder. 00:10:12.044 --> 00:10:13.846 I need to make more money. 00:10:13.846 --> 00:10:17.350 And I need to do whatever it takes to take on this challenge. 00:10:23.222 --> 00:10:25.691 The first ENT that we saw 00:10:25.691 --> 00:10:28.694 after Zee was identified as deaf 00:10:29.595 --> 00:10:33.899 said he has a profound bilateral sensorineural, hearing loss. 00:10:34.033 --> 00:10:37.203 And you can never change and you'll never know the reason why. 00:10:37.403 --> 00:10:40.406 And then he walked right out of the room. 00:10:40.973 --> 00:10:42.174 Needless to say, 00:10:42.174 --> 00:10:45.945 we did not return to that kind of institute. 00:10:47.213 --> 00:10:49.482 I suspect that this doctor 00:10:49.482 --> 00:10:54.520 had interacted with many parents who stunned and shocked, 00:10:54.687 --> 00:10:58.624 and peppered him with questions, and he had his rapid fire response. 00:10:59.792 --> 00:11:02.795 But we were young parents, 00:11:02.795 --> 00:11:05.798 everything in this moment was a first for us. 00:11:05.998 --> 00:11:09.902 Our curiosity to understand our child was valid. 00:11:10.770 --> 00:11:14.907 Why is my child deaf? Will he always be deaf? 00:11:15.675 --> 00:11:18.310 Did I do something to cause this? 00:11:18.310 --> 00:11:20.046 I don't understand this. 00:11:21.480 --> 00:11:23.382 When we're faced with the unexpected 00:11:23.382 --> 00:11:27.119 and when we are, the answers are scarce. 00:11:27.553 --> 00:11:30.990 Usually we turn to our inmediate resource of support, right? 00:11:30.990 --> 00:11:33.125 Our family and our friends. 00:11:33.125 --> 00:11:37.396 And we also look back at our past for answers. 00:11:38.497 --> 00:11:43.703 Working as a parent leader in California, I have the privilege of engaging 00:11:43.703 --> 00:11:48.741 with parents from multiple cultures, languages, races, religions. 00:11:49.542 --> 00:11:52.545 And I remember working with another mother of color, 00:11:52.812 --> 00:11:58.317 an educated, professional woman, who said to me, do you think he's deaf 00:11:58.317 --> 00:12:01.721 because I walked under a full moon in my third trimester? 00:12:03.956 --> 00:12:06.959 She did not need me to give her an answer. 00:12:07.560 --> 00:12:10.563 She just needed to say the words out loud. 00:12:10.863 --> 00:12:14.233 They were words that she was hearing from her family, 00:12:14.700 --> 00:12:17.670 from the in-laws, the grandparents. 00:12:18.270 --> 00:12:21.107 And she just needed someone to listen. 00:12:22.108 --> 00:12:23.042 So, in response 00:12:23.042 --> 00:12:29.115 I shared my own ancestral superstitions that I heard about my child, 00:12:29.749 --> 00:12:32.384 and then we laughed about it 00:12:32.384 --> 00:12:34.653 and we got to work. 00:12:34.653 --> 00:12:37.656 I validated her desire to find an answer 00:12:38.157 --> 00:12:41.160 just by listening and being present for her. 00:12:41.594 --> 00:12:44.396 In many cultures, superstitions are practiced 00:12:44.396 --> 00:12:47.700 as a way of carrying on tradition 00:12:47.900 --> 00:12:50.770 and preserving that culture, 00:12:50.770 --> 00:12:55.174 they are deeply ingrained beliefs and no matter how fantastical some may be, 00:12:55.741 --> 00:12:58.711 they tend to linger in the back of our minds. 00:13:00.112 --> 00:13:02.948 In fact, my husband, 00:13:02.948 --> 00:13:07.319 who is a brilliant entrepreneur, had to walk down his own 00:13:07.319 --> 00:13:11.490 path of his beliefs when our son was identified as deaf, 00:13:12.224 --> 00:13:15.227 like the many immigrant families who moved to America. 00:13:15.661 --> 00:13:19.231 My husband's family placed an emphasis on assimilation. 00:13:20.199 --> 00:13:23.335 He did not celebrate Hindu holidays. 00:13:23.536 --> 00:13:27.106 His parents did not raise his children to speak any other language 00:13:27.273 --> 00:13:30.442 other than English, and althouh both parents 00:13:30.442 --> 00:13:33.445 were fluid in multiple languages. 00:13:33.445 --> 00:13:35.581 They practiced different religions. 00:13:35.581 --> 00:13:38.551 Their idea of the American Dream 00:13:38.584 --> 00:13:41.287 was to distance themselves from anything foreign. 00:13:43.222 --> 00:13:43.756 My husband 00:13:43.756 --> 00:13:47.760 went on to become a very educated, charismatic, outgoing, 00:13:47.760 --> 00:13:51.297 hard working man who is also a really great dancer. 00:13:52.097 --> 00:13:55.100 [...] 00:13:55.467 --> 00:13:56.702 But this man 00:13:56.702 --> 00:14:01.607 still had to walk down his path, and his first response 00:14:02.174 --> 00:14:05.177 was to find an Indian Guru. 00:14:05.678 --> 00:14:08.047 So we found an Indian Guru in Los Angeles, 00:14:08.047 --> 00:14:11.050 and we had a spiritual session. 00:14:11.116 --> 00:14:14.119 I'm not going to go into the stories of karma 00:14:14.186 --> 00:14:17.356 and past lives, but did it do us any harm? 00:14:17.723 --> 00:14:19.225 Never. 00:14:19.225 --> 00:14:22.228 That is what my husband needed to do 00:14:22.394 --> 00:14:26.165 for him to start that process of understanding 00:14:26.165 --> 00:14:29.168 the unexpected. 00:14:29.468 --> 00:14:32.104 It's important to remember that parents are juggling 00:14:32.104 --> 00:14:37.376 not just the news of having a deaf child, but also how to navigate this world. 00:14:37.776 --> 00:14:40.412 Many families are coming from a place with strong 00:14:40.412 --> 00:14:43.415 cultural beliefs about language and disability. 00:14:44.383 --> 00:14:45.050 So in an 00:14:45.050 --> 00:14:48.921 ideal world, we would connect these families with someone 00:14:49.321 --> 00:14:52.324 who represented that culture right? 00:14:52.691 --> 00:14:55.694 But we know that is not always possible. 00:14:56.495 --> 00:14:58.831 Parents sometimes have to get down and dirty, 00:14:58.831 --> 00:15:03.235 roll up our sleeves, dig in deep into our own past, 00:15:03.235 --> 00:15:07.406 into our own family, to find the resources and the resilience. 00:15:08.340 --> 00:15:11.343 Over the years, our family we cultivated 00:15:11.343 --> 00:15:15.981 this tribe of people deaf, two-spirit, 00:15:16.081 --> 00:15:19.585 black, queer professionals, parents. 00:15:20.119 --> 00:15:22.855 We got uncomfortable 00:15:22.855 --> 00:15:25.858 to create our own community. 00:15:26.759 --> 00:15:27.960 But no matter what, 00:15:27.960 --> 00:15:30.963 I know that my own family tree 00:15:31.430 --> 00:15:34.333 carries a wealth 00:15:34.333 --> 00:15:37.336 of resources for our family to tap into. 00:15:43.542 --> 00:15:46.545 We have multiple citizenships in this family. 00:15:47.112 --> 00:15:51.550 In the spring of 2008, writer Andrew Solomon sat in our living room 00:15:51.550 --> 00:15:56.121 interviewing my husband and I about our experience of raising a deaf child. 00:15:57.222 --> 00:15:57.890 In this book, 00:15:57.890 --> 00:16:01.160 Solomon focuses on families that navigate life with children 00:16:01.160 --> 00:16:04.163 that are unique, and different and again unexpected. 00:16:04.930 --> 00:16:08.968 I recently reread our chapter, and I realized all those years ago 00:16:08.968 --> 00:16:13.339 that Solomon recognized how culture and our lived experiences 00:16:13.339 --> 00:16:18.010 as people of color shaped the choices that we made for our deaf child. 00:16:18.811 --> 00:16:22.314 During the interview, Andrew wonder why I was so comfortable 00:16:22.581 --> 00:16:24.750 with the deaf community. 00:16:24.750 --> 00:16:25.985 If you read the book, you'll see 00:16:25.985 --> 00:16:26.952 my husband said 00:16:26.952 --> 00:16:32.424 I grew up in a small town in Georgia where the KKK marched on weekends. 00:16:33.092 --> 00:16:35.928 The black kids and the white kids sat at separate, 00:16:35.928 --> 00:16:38.931 separate dinner table, lunch tables. 00:16:39.131 --> 00:16:42.134 So deaf culture, black culture, Indian 00:16:42.201 --> 00:16:45.204 youth get flexible. 00:16:45.270 --> 00:16:48.640 I also shared how I was an activist as a kid 00:16:49.775 --> 00:16:52.044 and at my high school in Los Angeles. 00:16:52.044 --> 00:16:55.981 I had many queer friends, and we set up the first gay 00:16:55.981 --> 00:16:59.385 and lesbian club in LAUSD. 00:17:01.320 --> 00:17:03.088 As parents of deaf and hard 00:17:03.088 --> 00:17:07.092 of hearing children, we tend to look to others for examples. 00:17:07.593 --> 00:17:09.728 And yes, we should celebrate other parents. 00:17:09.728 --> 00:17:13.699 We should celebrate deaf leaders, artists, trailblazers. 00:17:14.533 --> 00:17:17.970 But how often do we look back at our own story 00:17:19.204 --> 00:17:22.207 and we realize that we have what it takes 00:17:22.441 --> 00:17:25.444 to do this job and to do it well? 00:17:25.844 --> 00:17:30.282 Now, 16 years since the interview with Andrew Solomon, 00:17:30.482 --> 00:17:34.887 I realized that yes, my child is not at all what we expected. 00:17:34.920 --> 00:17:37.990 He's unique from every other person in our family 00:17:39.091 --> 00:17:40.092 but the tree 00:17:40.092 --> 00:17:43.562 that that odd apple fell from has deep, 00:17:43.829 --> 00:17:46.832 strong roots. 00:17:51.737 --> 00:17:54.573 Writer and feminist Bell Hooks said 00:17:54.573 --> 00:17:57.543 if we give our children sound self love, 00:17:58.043 --> 00:18:01.313 they will be able to deal with whatever life puts in front of them. 00:18:02.081 --> 00:18:05.984 And this is a photo that a friend of mine captured of Zee and I first visit 00:18:05.984 --> 00:18:11.223 to the Rochester Institute of Technology, and we were having a discussion 00:18:11.223 --> 00:18:14.593 about all the possibilities that lay ahead for Zee. 00:18:15.661 --> 00:18:16.562 At the same time that 00:18:16.562 --> 00:18:19.565 it was important for me to tour the school, 00:18:19.598 --> 00:18:24.002 it was just as important for me to take Zee to the Mount Hope Cemetery 00:18:24.303 --> 00:18:27.773 so that we could stand in front of Frederick Douglass gravesite. 00:18:28.674 --> 00:18:31.210 00:18:31.210 --> 00:18:33.011 This was a man 00:18:33.011 --> 00:18:35.147 enslaved from birth, 00:18:35.147 --> 00:18:37.983 who went on to become the most iconic 00:18:37.983 --> 00:18:40.986 civil rights leader in history, 00:18:40.986 --> 00:18:44.790 a man who said things like, it's easier 00:18:44.790 --> 00:18:48.660 to build strong children than to repair broken men. 00:18:49.828 --> 00:18:52.831 Without a struggle, there can be no progress. 00:18:53.098 --> 00:18:55.367 The soul that is within me, 00:18:55.367 --> 00:18:58.370 no man can degrade. 00:18:58.670 --> 00:19:03.208 My goal as a black mother is to make sure 00:19:03.208 --> 00:19:07.112 that my children know that they are perfect as is. 00:19:07.412 --> 00:19:10.382 Yes, that includes my deaf son. 00:19:10.482 --> 00:19:11.617 Each of them. 00:19:11.617 --> 00:19:14.620 They have a place in this world. 00:19:14.653 --> 00:19:18.624 And within the rich tapestry of black culture, their lives, 00:19:18.924 --> 00:19:23.695 lessons of resilience, perseverance, identity and community. 00:19:24.897 --> 00:19:27.900 Tapping into these roots can be simple. 00:19:28.500 --> 00:19:31.904 It can even happen over homework at the kitchen table. 00:19:32.938 --> 00:19:35.941 Like many DHH children homework 00:19:37.242 --> 00:19:39.444 was a struggle, 00:19:39.444 --> 00:19:42.447 especially when it came to reading and writing. 00:19:43.782 --> 00:19:45.918 But too often, parents are exposed 00:19:45.918 --> 00:19:49.321 to a deficit mindset when it comes to language for their children. 00:19:49.788 --> 00:19:52.791 Yes, learning a language is a challenge. 00:19:53.025 --> 00:19:57.729 But when there's such emphasis on what they can't do and not enough 00:19:57.729 --> 00:20:02.067 on the abilities that they do have, it harms both the parent and the child. 00:20:03.001 --> 00:20:07.272 I cannot tell you the amount of hours that I put in educating myself 00:20:08.006 --> 00:20:11.009 on how to support Zee and his language. 00:20:11.543 --> 00:20:13.712 But it wasn't until I looked back 00:20:13.712 --> 00:20:18.050 at my relationship with language that some things started to click. 00:20:21.687 --> 00:20:24.923 For many of us who grew up in a black home, 00:20:25.824 --> 00:20:28.727 we got to witness our parents manipulate 00:20:28.727 --> 00:20:31.730 and willed language like a weapon. 00:20:32.130 --> 00:20:35.500 I knew just by the way my mother answered 00:20:35.500 --> 00:20:38.503 the phone who was on the other end? 00:20:39.404 --> 00:20:43.775 If they were white, if they were a family member, 00:20:43.775 --> 00:20:47.312 a friend, and bill collector, a person of authority. 00:20:47.746 --> 00:20:50.582 It was all in the tone of her voice. 00:20:50.582 --> 00:20:53.418 In our culture, we call this code switching and honestly, 00:20:53.418 --> 00:20:56.421 that could have a presentation all of its own, 00:20:56.855 --> 00:21:01.560 but when I looked back at how I grew up surrounded by so many different 00:21:01.560 --> 00:21:06.098 forms of English, I started to reflect on the things that my mother told me. 00:21:06.999 --> 00:21:10.902 This was a woman who loved Black American history, 00:21:11.336 --> 00:21:14.439 and she taught me about African American vernacular 00:21:14.706 --> 00:21:19.711 and the way that enslaved black spoke, and a dialect that was considered 00:21:20.746 --> 00:21:22.681 ignorant 00:21:22.681 --> 00:21:25.684 when in fact these were people 00:21:26.285 --> 00:21:31.323 coming from different worlds and different cultures, different religions 00:21:31.323 --> 00:21:35.093 and languages, and they were just trying to adapt and survive. 00:21:36.928 --> 00:21:39.998 As Zee was learning English and we were learning ASL, 00:21:40.365 --> 00:21:43.035 I decided to change up the game. 00:21:43.035 --> 00:21:45.270 A simple shift from that deficit 00:21:45.270 --> 00:21:48.240 mindset to an asset mindset. 00:21:48.440 --> 00:21:50.909 It was life changing for us. 00:21:50.909 --> 00:21:52.811 We got this. 00:21:52.811 --> 00:21:55.380 My husband calls his family in Pakistan. 00:21:55.380 --> 00:21:58.350 and stumbles his way through Urdu. 00:21:58.550 --> 00:22:02.154 My sister is currently learning Blackfeet language. 00:22:02.521 --> 00:22:06.358 My father-in-law showed our children how to write their names in Sanskrit. 00:22:06.758 --> 00:22:10.829 My two hearing children used ASL before English. 00:22:11.930 --> 00:22:14.933 We are a language rich family. 00:22:15.300 --> 00:22:19.271 So why have I been isolating my child 00:22:19.504 --> 00:22:22.507 in his struggle to learn language? 00:22:24.109 --> 00:22:27.346 Our so called broken English 00:22:28.313 --> 00:22:31.683 became jazz, hip hop, rock n roll. 00:22:32.184 --> 00:22:36.388 The contribution of African American vernacular continues every day. 00:22:36.388 --> 00:22:41.293 Just as for kids, whether they speak a language or they sign a language 00:22:41.793 --> 00:22:45.597 they know words and phrases that came from the black community. 00:22:46.598 --> 00:22:49.067 In fact, Merriam Webster says 00:22:49.067 --> 00:22:52.771 signs of a healthy language include words 00:22:53.205 --> 00:22:57.476 being created, words being borrowed from other languages, 00:22:58.210 --> 00:23:01.646 and new meanings, [...] given to existing words. 00:23:02.781 --> 00:23:05.117 So in our homework sessions, 00:23:05.117 --> 00:23:08.120 I started to tell my son, hey, 00:23:08.887 --> 00:23:11.890 English is your second language, not the first. 00:23:12.190 --> 00:23:15.193 That means you're going to have to check the grammar. 00:23:15.660 --> 00:23:19.498 You're going to have to edit your words, and you have to work a little bit harder 00:23:19.498 --> 00:23:22.501 when you want to express yourself in this language. 00:23:22.768 --> 00:23:28.039 But you never have to feel bad about how you use this language. 00:23:29.708 --> 00:23:32.644 Our family, our history, 00:23:32.644 --> 00:23:38.116 and even our shared culture experiences can be assets to DHH children. 00:23:38.950 --> 00:23:41.887 Changing my approach to language 00:23:41.887 --> 00:23:44.923 alleviated the pressure 00:23:45.157 --> 00:23:50.195 and the weight of all the statistics about deaf and hard of hearing children. 00:23:50.829 --> 00:23:53.832 It was weighing us both down. 00:23:55.233 --> 00:23:57.536 However, language 00:23:57.536 --> 00:24:00.539 was only one part of our journey. 00:24:05.210 --> 00:24:06.311 At the same time 00:24:06.311 --> 00:24:10.315 that my husband and I were navigating our son's deafness 00:24:10.482 --> 00:24:15.120 with speech therapy, hearing aids, family park days, deaf events. 00:24:16.221 --> 00:24:20.258 We were also witnessing our child's gender come into being. 00:24:21.326 --> 00:24:23.562 The question I often get asked is 00:24:23.562 --> 00:24:26.498 when did you know your son was transgender? 00:24:26.498 --> 00:24:28.366 My answer 00:24:28.366 --> 00:24:31.203 always. 00:24:31.203 --> 00:24:34.005 And in fact, there are many, 00:24:34.005 --> 00:24:39.845 many people in this audience right now who walked that path with me. 00:24:40.011 --> 00:24:42.247 And watched Zee grow up. 00:24:42.247 --> 00:24:45.851 And I bet if I asked any of you out there, you would say the same. 00:24:46.785 --> 00:24:49.421 Zee has always been Zee. 00:24:51.156 --> 00:24:52.090 Long before he 00:24:52.090 --> 00:24:55.727 had the signs or the words to clearly express himself, 00:24:55.894 --> 00:24:58.930 he made it crystal clear he would never wear a dress. 00:24:59.631 --> 00:25:02.534 Hated the puffy sleeves on his school uniform 00:25:02.534 --> 00:25:05.537 and preferred to play Spider-Man than Barbie. 00:25:07.205 --> 00:25:10.208 During one of our earliest IEP meetings, 00:25:10.609 --> 00:25:13.578 Zee's kindergarten 00:25:13.578 --> 00:25:15.380 DHH teachers 00:25:15.380 --> 00:25:19.150 sat down with me and showed me Zee's All About Me poster. 00:25:19.184 --> 00:25:21.987 You know that poster that everybody makes 00:25:21.987 --> 00:25:24.055 where he clearly showed himself 00:25:24.055 --> 00:25:27.058 as a little boy with spiky hair. 00:25:28.560 --> 00:25:30.262 Those teachers 00:25:30.262 --> 00:25:33.265 just gave me food for thought. 00:25:33.932 --> 00:25:36.601 Something to keep in the back of my mind. 00:25:36.601 --> 00:25:39.871 In no way did they make that experience negative. 00:25:41.006 --> 00:25:43.275 In fact, years later, 00:25:43.275 --> 00:25:46.411 when Zee was ready to share himself with the rest of the world, 00:25:46.711 --> 00:25:49.948 those two teachers were some of the first people I contacted. 00:25:50.582 --> 00:25:51.449 And I thanked them 00:25:52.484 --> 00:25:55.921 from giving my son a space at such an early age 00:25:56.087 --> 00:25:59.090 just to be who he was without judgment. 00:26:00.425 --> 00:26:02.494 Years later, 00:26:02.494 --> 00:26:04.362 Zee was ready. 00:26:04.362 --> 00:26:10.969 He was ready to show himself to the world, and he decided he was going to do this, 00:26:11.002 --> 00:26:14.005 oh, just a couple of months before graduating high school. 00:26:15.941 --> 00:26:16.441 The reason 00:26:16.441 --> 00:26:20.178 why is because he had just witnessed 00:26:20.178 --> 00:26:24.349 a deaf transgender man doing a presentation. 00:26:25.517 --> 00:26:26.785 I want you to think about this. 00:26:26.785 --> 00:26:29.788 My husband and I and our friends our family, 00:26:29.854 --> 00:26:32.991 we have always accepted Zee as is. 00:26:33.358 --> 00:26:36.661 He always had a safe space to be who he was. 00:26:36.828 --> 00:26:40.899 But it wasn't until he saw a reflection of himself 00:26:41.132 --> 00:26:44.169 in another deaf transgender person 00:26:44.736 --> 00:26:48.540 that he found the courage to be himself. 00:26:49.741 --> 00:26:53.345 That representation is incredibly powerful, 00:26:54.512 --> 00:26:55.013 and it may 00:26:55.013 --> 00:26:58.216 look like our path here was very smooth and easy, 00:26:58.750 --> 00:27:00.852 I’m going to tell you, it wasn’t. 00:27:00.852 --> 00:27:04.022 It's because of my experiences here at conferences like this, 00:27:04.022 --> 00:27:06.992 and my years of parent to parent support that, I knew, 00:27:07.859 --> 00:27:09.461 okay. 00:27:09.461 --> 00:27:13.665 We're really deep into this experience with our child, but I still need support. 00:27:14.165 --> 00:27:19.037 And so I started to seek out the LGBTQ community, and I started to find 00:27:19.037 --> 00:27:22.040 parents who were also raising transgender children. 00:27:22.273 --> 00:27:25.176 And when I got into those parent groups, let me tell you, 00:27:25.176 --> 00:27:29.180 I was shocked in the best way by how comfortable 00:27:29.180 --> 00:27:32.183 and familiar it was. 00:27:32.684 --> 00:27:34.519 They were just like us 00:27:34.519 --> 00:27:37.589 parents, just trying to understand their children 00:27:37.822 --> 00:27:40.825 and do right by them. 00:27:40.992 --> 00:27:43.361 There were parents that also were struggling 00:27:43.361 --> 00:27:48.199 with family tradition and ideas and superstitions as well. 00:27:48.533 --> 00:27:51.970 I met a mother who wanted to blame herself 00:27:52.037 --> 00:27:54.072 because she had always been a tomboy. 00:27:54.072 --> 00:27:56.941 She always wore her hair short, never wore dresses, 00:27:56.941 --> 00:27:59.911 and she had gone against her family traditions for years. 00:28:00.211 --> 00:28:04.149 I met a father who had to cut ties with his own parents 00:28:04.549 --> 00:28:07.285 because they refused to accept his child. 00:28:09.220 --> 00:28:11.222 Just like that moment in the 00:28:11.222 --> 00:28:14.893 audiologists office when I learned about Zee’s deafness, 00:28:15.627 --> 00:28:19.164 I knew that I needed to seek out those parents 00:28:19.831 --> 00:28:22.801 who were sharing this journey. 00:28:24.636 --> 00:28:27.839 Parents had the same kind of questions that we have here today. 00:28:28.039 --> 00:28:31.042 How do I explain who my child is. 00:28:31.276 --> 00:28:34.345 How do I make the choices for my child's life? 00:28:34.646 --> 00:28:36.214 We live in a rural area. 00:28:36.214 --> 00:28:39.217 Where do I find the resources and support? 00:28:40.652 --> 00:28:43.688 Their journey was so similar 00:28:43.922 --> 00:28:46.925 that it really made an impact on me. 00:28:47.625 --> 00:28:50.628 Parents are just parents. 00:28:51.463 --> 00:28:54.966 We're all wanting the best for our children. 00:28:56.201 --> 00:28:59.671 However, once again, as I'm sitting in this room, 00:29:00.672 --> 00:29:03.708 I'm still the only black mother raising 00:29:03.708 --> 00:29:07.712 a bipoc, deaf, transgender child. 00:29:08.747 --> 00:29:10.849 My journey included 00:29:10.849 --> 00:29:13.852 finding not only the right pediatrician 00:29:14.018 --> 00:29:17.322 and therapist, but also the right interpreter. 00:29:18.323 --> 00:29:20.759 It's not easy. 00:29:20.759 --> 00:29:22.894 My journey included 00:29:22.894 --> 00:29:25.964 sitting down with world renowned 00:29:26.097 --> 00:29:29.234 activists who had, never engaged with a deaf person. 00:29:30.368 --> 00:29:34.572 My journey included fighting for language access 00:29:34.773 --> 00:29:37.742 in a black transgender support group. 00:29:41.980 --> 00:29:43.882 Pro-active parents. 00:29:43.882 --> 00:29:46.251 Parents who want the best for their children. 00:29:46.251 --> 00:29:48.853 Parents who have the same goal. 00:29:48.853 --> 00:29:51.990 Wanting to understand their child and creating safe spaces. 00:29:52.290 --> 00:29:53.892 That's who we are. 00:29:53.892 --> 00:29:57.662 And honestly, I wish that people who are misinformed 00:29:57.662 --> 00:30:00.999 about transgender children could sit in on those meetings. 00:30:04.335 --> 00:30:07.338 The experience for me personally, 00:30:07.772 --> 00:30:09.607 was a struggle. 00:30:09.607 --> 00:30:12.610 No matter how much I accepted my child, 00:30:12.877 --> 00:30:15.880 I knew that his journey was going to be unique. 00:30:17.282 --> 00:30:18.349 This time, 00:30:18.349 --> 00:30:21.653 there was a lot of fear and I laugh when 00:30:21.686 --> 00:30:26.291 I looked back on my fear, used to be him learning to read and write. 00:30:27.392 --> 00:30:29.727 And now my fear 00:30:29.727 --> 00:30:32.764 is of him walking into public restrooms. 00:30:34.599 --> 00:30:38.269 I'm struggling under the weight of all the statistics 00:30:38.269 --> 00:30:41.639 of violence against black and brown transgender people. 00:30:43.942 --> 00:30:45.643 And I was searching 00:30:45.643 --> 00:30:49.581 for the right connection to someone who understood what it meant 00:30:49.848 --> 00:30:52.851 to have both pride and fear 00:30:53.151 --> 00:30:56.154 for your child at the same time. 00:30:56.988 --> 00:30:58.990 I am still searching 00:30:58.990 --> 00:31:01.993 for just the right connection. 00:31:02.527 --> 00:31:04.062 But in the meantime, 00:31:04.062 --> 00:31:07.665 I dig in to myself, to my family, 00:31:07.932 --> 00:31:10.935 and to my roots. 00:31:12.804 --> 00:31:14.772 I'm sure that many of you know 00:31:14.772 --> 00:31:17.775 this word Sankofa. 00:31:17.942 --> 00:31:22.614 Sankofa is a word from the Akan people in Ghana, and it means go back and fetch it. 00:31:23.381 --> 00:31:25.083 Another translation might be 00:31:25.083 --> 00:31:28.353 It's not taboo to go back and fetch what you forgot. 00:31:29.287 --> 00:31:32.290 The symbol of Sankofa is a bird with its feet 00:31:32.423 --> 00:31:35.927 firmly planted forward and its head turned back. 00:31:36.995 --> 00:31:39.330 This isn't about being stuck in the past, 00:31:39.330 --> 00:31:43.768 because the Akan people believe that there must be movement, forward movement, 00:31:44.402 --> 00:31:47.605 but that you can tap into the past for the knowledge 00:31:48.072 --> 00:31:50.775 and that it should never be forgotten. 00:31:50.775 --> 00:31:55.213 Long before I knew what Sankofa was, as a black person living in America. 00:31:55.413 --> 00:31:59.717 I was raised to look back for the knowledge that I needed to move forward. 00:32:00.451 --> 00:32:02.820 And Sankofa has always been 00:32:02.820 --> 00:32:05.790 a part of our family. 00:32:11.963 --> 00:32:14.899 The son of Bob Marley said 00:32:14.899 --> 00:32:16.968 I was born by myself. 00:32:16.968 --> 00:32:20.371 But I carry the spirits, the blood of my father, 00:32:20.605 --> 00:32:22.473 mother and my ancestors. 00:32:22.473 --> 00:32:24.642 So, I am really never alone. 00:32:24.642 --> 00:32:27.645 My identity is through that line. 00:32:30.915 --> 00:32:33.918 00:32:38.056 --> 00:32:41.059 When I go back and fetch it, 00:32:41.960 --> 00:32:44.996 I find the lessons of my family. 00:32:45.330 --> 00:32:47.498 My father was a black cowboy 00:32:47.498 --> 00:32:49.801 who grew up in Wyoming. 00:32:49.801 --> 00:32:52.770 His parents were country western singers. 00:32:52.770 --> 00:32:56.307 He joined the military as soon as he could and was stationed in England, 00:32:56.874 --> 00:33:00.278 where he found a sense of freedom 00:33:00.278 --> 00:33:03.915 to be himself in a way that he would never find in America. 00:33:05.783 --> 00:33:08.119 When he came back to the U.S., he moved to California 00:33:08.119 --> 00:33:12.557 and made his way to the movie industry, eventually breaking the color lines 00:33:12.557 --> 00:33:15.827 by becoming the first black sound engineer 00:33:16.027 --> 00:33:18.896 for 20th Century Fox Studios. 00:33:18.896 --> 00:33:21.899 I can proudly say that my dad 00:33:22.033 --> 00:33:24.302 worked on Star Wars, 00:33:24.302 --> 00:33:29.140 Close Encounters, Return of the Jedi and many great movies. 00:33:30.375 --> 00:33:33.378 When I go back and fetch it, I see my mother, 00:33:33.678 --> 00:33:37.382 a fair skinned, red haired black woman 00:33:38.049 --> 00:33:42.120 whose first painful experience of racism happened at the age of four. 00:33:43.354 --> 00:33:45.957 This is a woman who bravely moved on her own 00:33:45.957 --> 00:33:51.095 at the age of 19 to California, searching for a more inclusive community. 00:33:51.996 --> 00:33:56.334 She attended parties in San Francisco where the Black Panther Party would come in. 00:33:56.467 --> 00:33:58.136 like celebrities. 00:33:58.136 --> 00:34:00.872 She went to seances in old Hollywood 00:34:00.872 --> 00:34:04.409 mansions with a young unknown and Jack Nicholson. 00:34:05.476 --> 00:34:08.112 And my mother's favorite stories, 00:34:08.112 --> 00:34:11.115 including her time working at MGM Studios, 00:34:11.282 --> 00:34:14.652 where a young Elvis used to go out of his way 00:34:14.786 --> 00:34:18.222 to hang out with the black employees during his lunch breaks. 00:34:19.857 --> 00:34:22.560 I can also look back at my husband's family, 00:34:22.560 --> 00:34:26.831 a family who moved from India to England and then to the southern United States. 00:34:27.098 --> 00:34:29.367 Knowing no one. 00:34:29.367 --> 00:34:33.037 They have the kind of resilience that you only find in immigrant families 00:34:33.271 --> 00:34:36.240 willing to move to another country 00:34:36.240 --> 00:34:39.210 to improve the live of their family, 00:34:39.510 --> 00:34:43.714 to adopt a new culture and new language. They will always set 00:34:43.714 --> 00:34:47.685 the standard for us to do whatever is needed for our family and our kids. 00:34:48.786 --> 00:34:52.590 And I also see myself as a nine year old girl 00:34:52.990 --> 00:34:58.062 moving from Inglewood, California to the oh my God 00:34:59.063 --> 00:35:01.766 San Fernando Valley 00:35:01.766 --> 00:35:04.669 in the 1980s. 00:35:04.669 --> 00:35:08.506 I had to defend not only my hair, 00:35:09.340 --> 00:35:12.743 my skin tone, but also the way that I talked. 00:35:14.645 --> 00:35:17.315 The black people would call me an Oreo, 00:35:17.315 --> 00:35:20.318 and the white people would tell me that I was too black. 00:35:21.986 --> 00:35:26.090 At the very heart of our family story is being other, 00:35:26.924 --> 00:35:30.228 knowing that we belong in the room no matter what. 00:35:30.528 --> 00:35:33.664 Representing ourselves for ourselves. 00:35:35.166 --> 00:35:35.867 Again, 00:35:35.867 --> 00:35:39.437 being deaf and hard of hearing is only part 00:35:39.704 --> 00:35:42.707 of our children's identity. 00:35:43.174 --> 00:35:44.408 It's easy to see how 00:35:44.408 --> 00:35:49.280 we get caught up in hearing levels, language choices, technology, education 00:35:49.780 --> 00:35:53.384 and before you know it, your child seems foreign to you. 00:35:54.886 --> 00:35:57.755 Sometimes I think in our pursuit to do right by our children. 00:35:57.755 --> 00:36:02.193 We create more distance between the family and the child. 00:36:03.060 --> 00:36:06.564 I want my children to know where they come from 00:36:07.498 --> 00:36:09.333 so that they can see their way forward. 00:36:16.374 --> 00:36:18.543 You will see here 00:36:18.543 --> 00:36:23.247 a photo of my great grandfather, James Robert Gordon, 00:36:23.447 --> 00:36:26.584 that we recently found through Ancestry.com. 00:36:27.552 --> 00:36:30.555 The boy next to him is Zee. 00:36:31.022 --> 00:36:33.191 You cannot tell me that this child does not belong 00:36:33.191 --> 00:36:36.194 to this family. 00:36:36.360 --> 00:36:38.396 Zee recently did a DNA test 00:36:38.396 --> 00:36:41.699 because he wanted to know more about himself and about his culture. 00:36:41.899 --> 00:36:46.337 And the more that he learned, the more he felt that he belonged 00:36:46.604 --> 00:36:49.640 not just to us, but to the world. 00:36:53.578 --> 00:36:55.112 Jamaican activist 00:36:55.112 --> 00:37:00.585 and national hero Marcus Garvey famously said a people without knowledge 00:37:00.585 --> 00:37:04.789 of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree 00:37:05.056 --> 00:37:08.059 without roots. 00:37:09.427 --> 00:37:11.896 So how do we cultivate roots? 00:37:11.896 --> 00:37:12.663 How do we make sure 00:37:12.663 --> 00:37:16.067 that our DHH children are woven into the fabric of our families? 00:37:16.968 --> 00:37:19.370 Well, it begins with embracing 00:37:19.370 --> 00:37:23.140 the similarities instead of solely focusing on our differences. 00:37:24.275 --> 00:37:27.645 We welcomed the deaf community and ASL into our family 00:37:27.645 --> 00:37:31.582 because we understood that it was just another culture 00:37:31.782 --> 00:37:34.685 that made us who we are. 00:37:34.685 --> 00:37:37.688 Do your own children know your family's journey? 00:37:37.888 --> 00:37:40.758 Do they know where their own name is from? 00:37:40.758 --> 00:37:43.327 Have you shared the family photos? 00:37:43.327 --> 00:37:46.397 Have you reached out to family living in other countries? 00:37:46.430 --> 00:37:50.868 We have all the technology at our fingertips that it's all possible. 00:37:51.902 --> 00:37:54.972 How much of your story have you shared with your children? 00:37:55.840 --> 00:37:58.476 You can still share the music that you loved, 00:37:58.476 --> 00:38:01.345 the movies, in fact, before my son left for college. 00:38:01.345 --> 00:38:05.916 I made it a mission to have weekly movie nights so that he could see 00:38:06.117 --> 00:38:10.288 every single one of my favorite childhood movies, like The Lost Boys, 00:38:10.621 --> 00:38:13.691 16 Candles, Labyrinth. 00:38:15.192 --> 00:38:17.395 And did you know 00:38:17.395 --> 00:38:20.798 that on YouTube you can find many, 00:38:20.798 --> 00:38:25.703 many high school prom and graduation videos from the 80s and 90s? 00:38:27.171 --> 00:38:28.072 I kid you not. 00:38:28.072 --> 00:38:32.677 I was able to show my children my prom night online. 00:38:33.878 --> 00:38:38.516 There are library events, cultural festivals, restaurants, cooking shows. 00:38:38.716 --> 00:38:42.053 You don't have to be skilled in language 00:38:42.320 --> 00:38:45.323 to share your family recipes. 00:38:46.290 --> 00:38:49.560 If I could go back and speak to myself sitting out there 00:38:49.560 --> 00:38:52.563 in that audience 16 years ago, 00:38:52.563 --> 00:38:55.566 pregnant with my youngest child, 00:38:57.001 --> 00:38:58.703 I would tell her 00:38:58.703 --> 00:39:01.706 it's going to be better than okay. 00:39:02.073 --> 00:39:04.408 Not only are you doing the right thing 00:39:04.408 --> 00:39:08.946 by gathering all the resources, taking advantage of everything 00:39:08.946 --> 00:39:12.083 that's available to you, making connections 00:39:12.083 --> 00:39:15.086 to parents, professionals in the deaf community. 00:39:15.152 --> 00:39:16.921 But girl, 00:39:16.921 --> 00:39:19.090 no matter what happens, 00:39:19.090 --> 00:39:23.494 you have what it takes to raise a successful child. 00:39:24.295 --> 00:39:27.298 You've been through some things in your own life. 00:39:27.898 --> 00:39:30.401 You have the experience and the resilience 00:39:30.401 --> 00:39:33.671 and the strength to do this and to do it well. 00:39:34.138 --> 00:39:35.606 In fact, if I went back 00:39:35.606 --> 00:39:39.477 and talked to my younger self, I would tell her to dream bigger. 00:39:46.016 --> 00:39:49.019 This is my baby Zee. 00:39:49.420 --> 00:39:53.357 Zee now identifies as an Afro Asian deaf man. 00:39:54.759 --> 00:39:56.527 He has made a name for himself 00:39:56.527 --> 00:39:59.730 in the deaf community as a filmmaker and editor. 00:40:00.364 --> 00:40:04.402 He attended RIT and the Franke Honors Program in Denmark, 00:40:04.802 --> 00:40:07.772 and he now lives in Germany. 00:40:07.905 --> 00:40:10.307 I'm happy to say 00:40:10.307 --> 00:40:13.878 that Zee was just accepted to the School of Film 00:40:14.211 --> 00:40:18.416 at Ben University in Berlin, and he will be the first deaf 00:40:18.416 --> 00:40:21.419 student. 00:40:24.755 --> 00:40:26.924 My son is a Globetrotter. 00:40:26.924 --> 00:40:30.261 He has traveled to 17 different countries. 00:40:31.429 --> 00:40:34.198 He went from feeling the weight 00:40:34.198 --> 00:40:37.935 of learning language to loving language. 00:40:39.003 --> 00:40:42.173 He knows international Sign language and German sign language, 00:40:42.339 --> 00:40:47.011 and he can make his way comfortably with reading Danish, French and German. 00:40:47.912 --> 00:40:50.181 He has navigated public transportation 00:40:50.181 --> 00:40:54.351 in numerous countries, medical situations, education, 00:40:54.351 --> 00:40:58.422 hiring interpreters, and the visa process all on his own, 00:40:59.957 --> 00:41:01.392 as well as going to Octoberfest 00:41:01.392 --> 00:41:04.395 and [...] Italy. 00:41:07.531 --> 00:41:10.668 Currently, he's living a digital nomad life. 00:41:11.101 --> 00:41:14.672 By working for a tech company based in the United States, where he is 00:41:14.672 --> 00:41:18.275 also the only deaf employee, and more recently, 00:41:18.275 --> 00:41:22.680 he was hired by the renowned deaf artist Christine 00:41:22.713 --> 00:41:25.683 Son and Kim. 00:41:26.550 --> 00:41:29.553 My child comes from strong roots. 00:41:29.854 --> 00:41:31.922 He knows our history. 00:41:31.922 --> 00:41:34.892 He knows that he's a part of it. 00:41:35.025 --> 00:41:38.229 And now he gets to write his own chapters full of adventure 00:41:38.229 --> 00:41:41.232 and breaking barriers. 00:41:47.204 --> 00:41:47.905 Islamic 00:41:47.905 --> 00:41:52.109 poet Rumi says maybe he was searching 00:41:52.109 --> 00:41:55.112 among the branches for what only appears in roots. 00:41:56.881 --> 00:41:59.850 I know that every person in this room 00:41:59.984 --> 00:42:02.987 wants to see deaf and hard of hearing children succeed. 00:42:03.320 --> 00:42:06.657 We attend this congress year after year, and others like it 00:42:06.657 --> 00:42:11.061 to share our ideas, to brainstorm, to learn from one another. 00:42:11.328 --> 00:42:14.331 So when you go back to your work, your office and your schools, 00:42:14.732 --> 00:42:18.002 don't just involve parents that you're working with, 00:42:18.302 --> 00:42:21.305 but empower them to go 00:42:21.405 --> 00:42:25.242 out of your way, become uncomfortable. 00:42:26.210 --> 00:42:29.213 Tap into your own story. 00:42:29.280 --> 00:42:33.284 There's still work to do, but in this time we can show up. 00:42:33.317 --> 00:42:36.320 We have the luxury of being who we are. 00:42:36.420 --> 00:42:39.790 Some who argue when you sit down at the table with those parents, 00:42:40.391 --> 00:42:43.327 and how are you encouraging them 00:42:43.327 --> 00:42:46.330 to tap into their own family's culture? 00:42:47.698 --> 00:42:50.701 Above all. 00:42:50.701 --> 00:42:55.205 We should encourage families to look inward, 00:42:56.006 --> 00:42:59.009 to know that they have what it takes 00:42:59.543 --> 00:43:02.546 to support their child, 00:43:02.646 --> 00:43:05.215 and we should support the efforts 00:43:05.215 --> 00:43:08.752 to bring those deaf and hard of hearing children home. 00:43:10.054 --> 00:43:10.721 Thank you.